Since separating from my partner over two years ago I haven’t really been interested in finding anybody else. All my energy has been poured into the kids, and into my job so that I can give them security and well being – I struggle to see how I would fit anyone else in!
Over time though I’ve noticed that the thought of having a partner again does pop into my mind more and more often. I get occasional moments where I think “yeah it’d be nice to have someone” but they are still pretty infrequent.
However, when I do think about it, the idea of more kids pops into my head. As I approach 32 years old it makes sense that I’m more likely to find someone who is probably within 3 years of me. That person may well already have kids, or desire kids of her own, or both.
I recently spent some time with friends visiting their newborn baby girl. Memories came flooding back of what that was like (mostly only the good bits, though) but mostly I was in awe at how The Girl reacted. She was completely absorbed by this little baby – wanting to sit right next to her, kiss her and stroke her hair.
If someone new were to come along then, would I have more kids? Probably.
Despite never having wanted kids in the first place, I can’t help wanting to experience that wonderful feeling again. I’m also aware that the relationship I had with the mother of my kids wasn’t great and so I imagine that if I were to find someone else who I loved and wanted to have kids with would be that bit more special.